Morley
Morley
giving speech sitting
I don't like giving speeches - I enjoy sitting on my rump.
furniture euthanasia ifs
I would have tested the furniture if they'd asked me.
song kings unions
I did Our Daily Bread for King and that made me popular in the Soviet Union; King was amused by that.
baseball balls
I have never willingly chased a ball.
people trouble should
If people take the trouble to cook, you should take the trouble to eat.
party long
A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.
men theatre actors
It is a great help for a man to be in love with himself. For an actor, however, it is absolutely essential.
doctors worry giving
A cough is a symptom, not a disease. Take it to your doctor and he can give you something serious to worry about.
men buried fats
Fat men get knocked over by buses no earlier, nor later, than thin men. And I, for one, have buried most of my thin friends.
horse congratulations winning
There is little to compare with the thrill of standing next to the creature in the winner's enclosure avoiding his hooves and receiving the congratulations of the press, your trainer and friends who backed it. What makes the experience so satisfying is that you, the owner, have had absolutely nothing to do with the horse winning.
add public-speaking
Beware of the conversationalist who adds "In other words."
self mirrors wife
I have little patience with anyone who is not self-satisfied. I am always pleased to see my friends, happy to be with my wife and family, but the high spot of every day is when I first catch a glimpse of myself in the shaving mirror.
men bed should
A man who has his initials on his pyjamas must be uncertain of himself. Surely you should know who you are at bed time.
trouble should critics
If the critics were always right we should be in deep trouble.