Lewis Grizzard
Lewis Grizzard
Lewis McDonald Grizzard, Jr.was an American writer and humorist, known for his Southern demeanor and commentary on the American South. Although he spent his early career as a newspaper sports writer and editor, becoming the sports editor of the Atlanta Journal at age 23, he is much better known for his humorous newspaper columns in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He was also a popular stand-up comedian & lecturer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionWriter
Date of Birth20 October 1946
CountryUnited States of America
"Have you done your homework?" my mother would ask. "I'll do it later." "You will do it now, young man. I don't want you winding up on the third shift at Flagg-Utica." Flagg-Utica was a local textile plant. Somehow, I never could figure how failing to read three chapters in my geography book about the various sorts of vegetation to be found in a tropical rain forest had anything to do with facing a life as a mill hand. But with enough guilt and fear as catalysts, you can read anything, even geography books and Deuteronomy.
When people ask me what sign I was born under, I say "I'm not certain, but it could have been the one that says 'Dining Car in opposite direction'.
The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
If you ain't the lead dog, the view never changes.
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Let's all start walking more and driving less.
If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be About a Quart Low.
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them.
Spring time is the land awakening.
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
When My Love Comes Back from the Ladies' Room, Will I Be Too Old To Care?