Lewis Grizzard
Lewis Grizzard
Lewis McDonald Grizzard, Jr.was an American writer and humorist, known for his Southern demeanor and commentary on the American South. Although he spent his early career as a newspaper sports writer and editor, becoming the sports editor of the Atlanta Journal at age 23, he is much better known for his humorous newspaper columns in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He was also a popular stand-up comedian & lecturer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionWriter
Date of Birth20 October 1946
CountryUnited States of America
There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.
Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.
Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life's work.
I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.
Elvis is dead and I don't feel good for myself.
If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi
God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.
Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?"
You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'