Lewis Grizzard
Lewis Grizzard
Lewis McDonald Grizzard, Jr.was an American writer and humorist, known for his Southern demeanor and commentary on the American South. Although he spent his early career as a newspaper sports writer and editor, becoming the sports editor of the Atlanta Journal at age 23, he is much better known for his humorous newspaper columns in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He was also a popular stand-up comedian & lecturer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionWriter
Date of Birth20 October 1946
CountryUnited States of America
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.
You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
When people ask me what sign I was born under, I say "I'm not certain, but it could have been the one that says 'Dining Car in opposite direction'.
The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
If you ain't the lead dog, the view never changes.
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Let's all start walking more and driving less.
If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be About a Quart Low.
If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them.