Julie Klausner
Julie Klausner
Julie Klausneris a New York City-based author, comedian, podcaster, and comedy writer-performer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionAuthor
Date of Birth3 July 1978
CountryUnited States of America
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A relationship book I once read told women to use the word 'fun' whenever possible. The author claimed it had a subliminal aphrodisiac effect on men, who want a relaxed girl attached only to good times - the human equivalent of Diet Coke. This is not me.
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I didn't write my book, 'I Don't Care About Your Band,' in order to give women a brand-new set of dating rules they need to feel terrible about not abiding. I wrote my book to make the women who read it feel good about themselves, and a little more entitled to be treated well by the guys they go out with.
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There are good intentions behind many people's conversion to veganism, including an admirable devotion to the well-being of animals and a justified skepticism about the crap the USDA allows manufacturers to put in our food. But it's hard to ignore the often sanctimonious nature of what some nutritionists view as an 'extremist' way of eating.
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I think of basset hounds whenever I turn on my computer because I have photos of them. And if I'm lucky, and I see one on the street, I know it's going to be a good day. They really are like a four-leaf clover.
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Here is how you meet women: You tell the girls you are friends with - the ones in relationships - that you want a girlfriend. You shouldn't even have to say 'Set me up' or 'Introduce me!' If they're good girls, they'll get the hint.
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In all seriousness, I don't get people who need to make a proposal a bigger deal than marriage already is.
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Every once in awhile you get encouragement, or you get something that isn't competitive or guilt-inducing from your peers, and it just turns a little light on. It makes it so the work that you do isn't isolating and horrible. There are people who make your life and your work better, and that's something I'm incredibly grateful for.
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I have nothing snarky to say about Joan Rivers' appearance. We should all be that happy with how we look on camera, frankly.
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What podcasts can do in order to liven up the talk show area of TV is bring new personalities and unique worldviews into the fray in a way that's not going to be filtered through the whole Q-rating thing. I think there's a whole new layer of doing things that TV is behind the Internet in figuring out.
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You have to tell guys to ask you on a date. Smile when you do it - however that works, I'm not 'Cosmo.' But yeah - not a lot of people know how to 'court' anymore, sorry.
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I've tried open-ended jobs and found myself incredibly unhappy. I don't like the monomania of showing up every day and doing the same thing. I don't know where my next cheque is coming from, I don't know where my next job is coming from, I have really sketchy health insurance, but I need variety in my life.
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This is not what anyone wants to hear, just like somebody who wants to lose weight doesn't want to hear 'diet and exercise,' but I think giving yourself time and abstaining from interaction is the only way to get over somebody.
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So, things aren't clicking with this sweet guy who keeps calling you. So what? Things like chemistry and fate and all the rest actually exist. You don't need to flip out if you're seeing a guy who's really nice to you and you're not attracted to him. It doesn't have to necessarily be because he's nice to you and you hate yourself.
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As far as my memory being reliable, at the risk of sounding like some sort of gorgeous two-headed monster with the voices of Dave Barry and Erma Bombeck, I do think that women, like elephants, remember everything and love peanuts.