Julie Klausner
Julie Klausner
Julie Klausneris a New York City-based author, comedian, podcaster, and comedy writer-performer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionAuthor
Date of Birth3 July 1978
CountryUnited States of America
bill central friend funny love stuff
I really love 'Real Housewives.' It's like the, you know, comedy stuff that's, like, intentionally funny. Like, I love 'Nathan for You,' that Comedy Central show. It's just brilliant. My friend Bill Eichner has a show called 'Billy on the Street' that I write for, and even if I didn't write for it, I'd still love it.
joan
I have nothing snarky to say about Joan Rivers' appearance. We should all be that happy with how we look on camera, frankly.
backpack both deal honest rather scared sensitive women
I'm at the point, frankly, where I'd rather deal with a misogynist with a copy of Tucker Max's book in his backpack over someone in sensitive emo-boy clothing, because both are misogynists, only the one with the backpack is more honest about just how scared of women he is.
articles care consider great money paying pulitzer success successful support textbooks
If you are making money writing, you are doing great. If you can support yourself writing, you are a success. I don't care if you're writing textbooks or Pulitzer Prize-winning articles for weighty publications of world renown: If you're writing and it's paying the bills, consider yourself a successful writer.
hire learned money people
I don't make money doing my podcast. I've learned that people want to hire creative people who are already doing something when they approach them.
marriage people proposal
In all seriousness, I don't get people who need to make a proposal a bigger deal than marriage already is.
club definitely huge less sensitive sports terrified women
The kind of boy's club I'm used to? It is definitely not a jock-y, frat-y kind of thing. They say, 'I'm sensitive and nerdy,' but actually, it's like, 'You're a huge child and you're terrified of women, but you don't like sports, so you think that makes you less of a misogynist.'
fear admiration symptoms
Fear can be the result of admiration, or it can be a symptom of contempt.
race childhood lions
If the Cowardly Lion were on RuPaul’s Drag Race, so much of my childhood would be less nightmarish.
hurt waiting three
What else don’t women like besides the Three Stooges? Tom Waits. Being hurt physically or emotionally.
fun silly character
All I know is it’s silly to chase fun when all you need is the ground underneath you to be solid. And I don’t expect to be one of those people that does cartwheels in yogurt commercials. I wanna be the cartoon character in that antidepressant ad who has, like, little lines under her eyes, and the divot in the middle of the pill is the pill’s mouth... have you seen this ad? It’s very good. It’s for Abilify, which is not a word.
mirrors feels magnifying
I just feel like I understand Cameron Diaz better than I ever have before, and I don’t like it. I don’t like to see everything I see. It’s like a magnifying mirror only soulful, and I’m not looking at her, I’m looking at us, you know? And our pores are huge.
new-york cozy soup
Is it a different New York since Lou Reed died? It’s been a different New York since I saw him in his sweatpants at the Cozy Soup ‘n’ Burger.
agency giving sushi
Women who work for escort agencies that assign them out to prostitution dates at sushi restaurants know how to eat with chopsticks, and beyond that they are in every other way identical to other prostitutes. They’re not better looking; they’re not smarter; they’re not classier; they’re not more charming. They probably give more blowjobs than any reasonable woman, right? And they are empty inside, but it’s also society’s fault.