Quotes by 'Joe E. Lewis'

Joe E. Lewis

Joe E. Lewis, born Joseph Klewan in New York City, was an American comedian and singer...

drinking ice alcohol

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

men drunk alcohol

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.

beer swim drink

If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.

drinking doctors great-alcohol

I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.

mother school differences

I never went to school beyond the 3rd grade, but my mother taught me the difference between right and wrong.

mistake

We can afford almost any mistake once.

money poverty one-thing

There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

men alcohol next

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.

drunk people alcohol

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

money nerves politics

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

drinking forget drink

I drink to forget I drink.

drinking dirty scotch-whisky

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

horse water ifs

You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to roll over and float on his back, then you got something!

golf play lows

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.