J. Perelman
J. Perelman
controlled degraded dreary enormous ethical industrial pack taste town
A dreary industrial town controlled by hoodlums of enormous wealth, the ethical sense of a pack of jackals and taste so degraded that it befouled everything it touched.
distant dying love moan triumphant twang violin
Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin .. it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring
comparable forehead greed lit man pair pig roughly tiny visible
Under a forehead roughly comparable to that of Javanese and Piltdown man are visible a pair of tiny pig eyes, lit up alternately by greed and concupiscence.
eyes favorite flew pencils salad wallet
Their the waiters' eyes sparkled and their pencils flew as she proceeded to eviscerate my wallet - p%tZ, Whitstable oysters, a sole, filet mignon, and a favorite salad of the Nizam of Hyderabad made of shredded five-pound notes.
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
learning
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
hero law steel
In pulp fiction it is a rigid convention that the hero's shoulders and the heroine's balcon constantly threaten to burst their bonds, a possibility which keeps the audience in a state of tense expectancy. Unfortunately for the fans, however, recent tests reveal that the wisp of chiffon which stands between the publisher and the postal laws has the tensile strength of drop-forged steel.
boys ears body
Nature, it appears, has been rather more bountiful to Paul's body and purse than to his intellect; above the ears, speaking bluntly, the boy is strictly tapioca.
pride anorexia television
I used to pride myself on being impervious to the sentimentalities of soap opera, but when that loveliest of actresses, Rachel Gurney, of Upstairs, Downstairs, perished on the Titanic, I wept so convulsively and developed such anorexia that I had to be force-fed.
gone teeth fit
I'll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they've gone, I'll get along. I started off living on gruel, and by God, I can always go back to it again.
funny kitchen france
"In France," Marcel said with wintry dignity, "accidents occur in the bedroom, not the kitchen."
funny humor feel-better
FREEDLEY: Will I feel better after I take it? DR. FITCH (coldly): I, am a physician, Freedley, not an astrologer. If you want a horoscope, there's a gypsy tearoom over on Lexington Avenue.
years twelve ponies
As for consulting a dentist regularly, my punctuality practically amounted to a fetish. Every twelve years I would drop whatever I was doing and allow wild Caucasian ponies to drag me to a reputable orthodontist.
thinking vanity age
In my more pompous moments I like to think of myself as a writer rather than a humorist, but I suppose that's merely the vanity of advancing age.