George Carlin
George Carlin
George Denis Patrick Carlinwas an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 5–4 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth12 May 1937
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
There's a reason education sucks, and it's the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. It's never going to get any better. Don't look for it. Be happy with what you've got.. because the owners of this country don't want that. I'm talking about the real owners now.. the real owners. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have no choice. You have owners.
Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
Israeli murderers are called "commandos," Arab commandos are called "terrorists."
Language is a tool for concealing the truth. If we could read each other's minds, this would be a horror show.
Surround yourself with what you love.
Life is sacred? Who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death.
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
Granola didn't sell very well when it was good for you. Now it has caramel, chocolate, marshmallow, saturated fat and sweeteners with a small amount of oats and grains. Sales picked up.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.