Fran Lebowitz
Fran Lebowitz
Frances Ann "Fran" Lebowitzis an American author and public speaker. Lebowitz is known for her sardonic social commentary on American life as filtered through her New York City sensibilities. Some reviewers have called her a modern-day Dorothy Parker...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionEssayist
Date of Birth27 October 1950
CityMorristown, NJ
CountryUnited States of America
allow children mix
Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.
cement children color discussing interest mixer persist recently subtle topic
Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in moods, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement mixer long after one's interest in the topic has waned
children speaks-french people
Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult. Many people find smoking objectionable. I myself find many - even more - things objectionable. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs.
children political-opinions knows
Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do.
children long doe
Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.
children pay needs
Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.
children animal talking
[Children are] like talking animals. Their consciousness is so different from ours that they constitute a different species. They don't have to be particularly interesting children; just the fact that they are children is sufficient. They don't know what anything is, so they have to make it up. No matter how dull they are, they still have to figure things out for themselves.
children color long
Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned.
relationship children rain
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
sex children humorous
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
children abdomen excuse
How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.
children names long
Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.
disappointment children educational
Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.
children party interesting
Children are rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money. There are, however, exceptions, and such children are an excellent addition to any party.