Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard
Edward John "Eddie" Izzardis an English stand-up comedian, actor, and writer. His comedic style takes the form of rambling, whimsical monologue, and self-referential pantomime. He had a starring role in the television series The Riches as Wayne Malloy and has appeared in films such as Ocean's Twelve, Ocean's Thirteen, Mystery Men, Shadow of the Vampire, The Cat's Meow, Across the Universe, and Valkyrie. He has also worked as a voice actor in The Wild, Igor, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince...
NationalityBritish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1962
America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Makeup's just crazy, anyways. Native Americans used to wear it, and it did all right for them until, uh ... well, until you killed them all, I suppose.
If you're trying to get a bit of attention, you can smash up your hotel room or spend all your time going to openings or doing the gossip column thing. I just decided to do gigs in French, German, Spanish, and in America.
This is a world that's big enough for everyone. I like that message in that comes out of John Lasseter, and it comes out Pixar, it comes out of the Apple, Google, the Ben and Jerry's thing. These are American companies that send that message around that is good, that is healthy. And everyone goes, "That's the America I always believed in before Watergate."
I remember when I was being told about Watergate, and I thought, "Oh, America is not what I think America is." But America is what I think it is. It's just that it's two bits of it, and I don't go with the Republican bit of it. I go more with the Democratic bit.
And they always find in archeology a series of small walls. Every time, a series of small walls. Everywhere you go. Weve found a series of small walls, were very excited I think this proves they had walls in olden days. They were very small, and a series of small wall people. And then someone comes along, very learned, with glasses, Of course, the king and queen entertained here 1,500 courtiers, and there were soldiers, 20,000 soldiers in this room, and elephants dancing hopscotch over there A mad fiddler in this room, playing the banjo, buttocks and aqueducts into a heater And youre just watching, and going, Youre making this up, mate! Youre just pointing at a series of small walls, going, there, there Tutankhamen playing banjo in there Dont know if its true.
And theres others like taxidermist! You cant just go, Oh, I was just working at the chip shop, and I just started stuffing animals with sand, you know? Youve gotta want to be! I want to be a taxidermist! I wanna fill animals with sand. (mimes stuffing an animal) I wanna get more sand into an animal than anybody has ever bloody got in one. I wanna fill a rat with the entire Gobi Desert, so its really quite tight.
ello, Sue. I've got legs. Do you like bread? I've got a French loaf. Bye! I love you
You killed a hundred thousand people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym!
I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.
I grew up in the 70s, when the careers advisor used to come to school, and he used to get the kids together and say, 'Look, I advise you to get a career, what can I say? That's it.'
Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it is they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Hitler killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won't stand for that, will we?
I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees... putting on make-up when you're up there!