Dave Barry
Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barryis a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth3 July 1947
CityArmonk, NY
CountryUnited States of America
god hands people
Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.
god animal walking-sticks
Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.
god horse stupidity
Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.
god stupidity needs
Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
god stupidity spiders
Too many bugs and leeches and spiders and spiderwebs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
teacher kids voice
The voice belonged to Mr. Pzyrbovich, an algebra teacher who was always called Mr. P, for obvious reasons. He has a heavy accent, which a lot of kids said made him hard to understand, although to be fair some of these kids would have never understood algebra anyway.
god night animal
The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.
god years stupidity
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
war years sea
During bomb drills, we students were told to crouch under our desks. Apparently the desks used in classrooms in the fifties were made of an exceptionally missile-resistant variety of wood. During the Cold War years I often wondered why it never occurred to our defense planners to protect the entire nation from nuclear attack by simply covering it, from sea to shining sea, with a huge Strategic Classroom Desk.
home insane norway
Denmark (also called Norway) is best known as the original home of the prune Danish as well as the Vikings, who wore hats with horns sticking out of them, and for a very good reason: they were insane.
mean needs warning
Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.
years editors paper
At certain times each year, we journalists do almost nothing except apply for the Pulitzers and several dozen other major prizes. During these times you could walk right into most newsrooms and commit a multiple axe murder naked, and it wouldn't get reported in the paper because the reporters and editors would all be too busy filling out prize applications.
fashion art fashion-model
[There is] a breed of fashion models
god stupid abuse
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.