Dave Barry
Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barryis a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth3 July 1947
CityArmonk, NY
CountryUnited States of America
shoes numbers race
If everybody were a guy, the human race could easily get by on less than one twentieth the current number of shoes.
people needs musician
Classical music gradually lost popularity because it is too complicated: you need twenty-five or thirty skilled musicians just to hum it properly. So people began to develop regular music.
pain urban-renewal doctors
When doctors describe pain as experiencing "discomfort," it's like saying Hiroshima experienced "urban renewal".
doctors should diets
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.
hands years people
Every year, hundreds of thousands of people try their hand at this demanding profession (humor columnist). After a few months, almost all of them have given up and gone back to the ninth grade.
sight people important
What I want to know is: Why is it important to have visible stomach muscles? I grew up in an era (the Paleolithic) when people kept their stomach muscles discreetly out of sight.
space scientist print
We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.
feet squares laptops
UNIVAC: a device, which contained 20,000 vacuum tubes, occupied 1,500 square feet and weighed 40 tons; there was also a laptop version weighing 27 tons.
nascar-racing literature upside-down
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.
mother mean golf
Advice to expectant mothers: you must remember that when you are pregnant, you are eating for two. But you must remember that the other one of you is about the size of a golf ball, so let's not go overboard with it. I mean, a lot of pregnant women eat as though the other person they're eating for is Orson Welles.
smart europe people
If the people in Europe are SOOOOOO smart, how come so many of them can't seem to locate the deodorant, huh?
sleep long-ago eruption
Long, long ago, before eruptions were invented, the molten lava had to be carried down the mountainside, bucket by bucket, and poured over the sleeping villagers. This took time.
people today used
In those days, most people read newspapers, whereas today, most people do not. What caused this change? One big factor, of course, is that people are a lot stupider than they used to be, although we here in the newspaper industry would never say so in print.
golf self expression
If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%? In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.