Dave Barry
Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barryis a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth3 July 1947
CityArmonk, NY
CountryUnited States of America
years emergencies colorado
Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities.
cute plight toads
If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.
depressing beer being-sad
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
sports trying literature
Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?
hate car pits
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
snowboarding people literature
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.
brain literature nuclear
The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.
birthday sex eye
The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
literature stones teeth
We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.
god stupidity size
And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
crazy reading literature
Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.
boys simple pet
Lobsters displays all three of the classic biological characteristics of an insect, namely: 1. It has way more legs than necessary. 2. There is no way you would ever pet it. 3. It does not respond to simple commands such as "Here, boy!"
water flying trying
Turbulence: This is what pilots announce that you have encountered when your plane strikes an object in midair. You'll be flying along, and there will be an enormous, shuddering WHUMP, and clearly the plane has rammed into an airborne object at least the size of a water buffalo, and the pilot will say, "Folks, we're encountering a little turbulence." Meanwhile they are up there in the cockpit trying desperately to clean water buffalo organs off the windshield.
jobs ethical-standards president
The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?