Dave Barry
Dave Barry
David McAlister "Dave" Barryis a Pulitzer Prize winning American author and columnist, who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has also written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comedic novels...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionJournalist
Date of Birth3 July 1947
CityArmonk, NY
CountryUnited States of America
humorous ocean islands
The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse.
phones agency car
You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you?
business computer macintosh
And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople get ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report.
caring care realizing
I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.
class two people
There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.
knives steak
Never lick a steak knife.
smart writing editors
Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress.
teacher educational hate
The science fair has long been a favorite educational tool in the American school system, and for a good reason: Your teachers hate you.
jobs hands pie
See, when the GOVERNMENT spends money, it creates jobs; whereas when the money is left in the hands of TAXPAYERS, God only knows what they do with it. Bake it into pies, probably. Anything to avoid creating jobs.
matter needs back-to-work
What I need is a search engine that, no matter what I type in, comes back with GO BACK TO WORK.
running drinking beer
In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than remembering not to light the filter ends of cigarettes.
war alcohol great-depression
After the war, Prohibition was passed, and with liquor no longer legally available the nation plunged headlong into the Great Depression.
drinking beer rays
All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
golf looks terrible
I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.