Chris Rock
Chris Rock
Christopher Julius "Chris" Rock III is an American comedian, actor, and producer...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1965
CityAndrews, SC
black invented man rock school stolen
Much like rock 'n' roll, school shootings were invented by the black man and stolen by the whites,
almost car chris drive flash love man nice people pull
Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know? People are nice to ya, they give you the beneift o' the doubt... You drive a flash car down the freeway and the cops'll pull y'over and before they even look they like 'What the f**k are you doing?' and then they see it's you and they like 'Awww man, it's Chris Rock, it's okay, man we thought you was a nigga'.
men shows one-man
When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.
men white-man black
If you see a black woman with an overweight white man, you know she got effed up credit!
men white-man black
See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.
zebras men white-man
Give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra anything but another white man! That last one f***ed up my roof!
casting excuse famous funny gonna horrible seen stunt
I've never seen stunt casting that's actually funny: 'Oh, it's Shaq,' and then there's some horrible excuse for him to dunk, ... It's, like, 'We got a famous guy, and he's gonna be famous tonight' -- and it sucks!
ahead black bunch great guy lost love
It was way ahead of its time. It's like this black guy with a bunch of money. He's funny, and he never lost his money. He was always a great businessman. I love that show.
based
The show is loosely based on my life,
approve comments cringe name
I should see every script, I should make my comments and approve of jokes. I can't cringe at a show that's got my name on it.
boy girls grassroots hard nice punch ready trying white
I think I'd be too hard on a boy -- every day, trying to make him a man, getting him ready for white people, ... Girls don't punch each other in the face. Girls are pretty nice to each other, even, like, on a grassroots level.
contest dance judge paula reeve simon watching
Have you been watching American Idol? They have Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul judgin' the singin. Paula Abdul?! Gettin' Paula Abdul to judge a singin' contest is like gettin' Christopher Reeve to judge a dance contest!
bullet cost five thousand
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.
america best black crazy france germany golfer guy hold men named nba powerful rapper swiss tallest three white
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.' Need I say more?