Chris Rock
Chris Rock
Christopher Julius "Chris" Rock III is an American comedian, actor, and producer...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1965
CityAndrews, SC
casting excuse famous funny gonna horrible seen stunt
I've never seen stunt casting that's actually funny: 'Oh, it's Shaq,' and then there's some horrible excuse for him to dunk, ... It's, like, 'We got a famous guy, and he's gonna be famous tonight' -- and it sucks!
bill bunch comics far funny george good guy joan quality richard rodney
Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.
funny hate rap
The government hates rap. That's why they don't arrest anybody that kills rappers! Only the good ones are dead, man! Only the good ones: Biggie dead, Tupac dead, Vanilla Ice still alive! They don't fill out a police report. They don't even have a chalk line when it's a dead rapper, they just take a piss around the body.
funny humor guy
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!
funny baby lying
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies ... a man lie is, "I was at Kevin's house!" A woman lie is like, "It's your baby!"
funny war humor
I ain't shooting nobody, so call me a faggot. When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs.
funny humor water
Daddy pays for the water, daddy pays for the gas, daddy pays for the electricity, and if daddy didn't pay for the electricity, he'd pay for the candle on your nightstand, so you can study for the big test tomorrow.
funny running sex
It's hard for a man to turn down sex ... if they chase us, we can't run that fast.
funny believe taken
And even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you don't gotta go to no doctor to get it taken out, whoever shot you will take they bullet back! "I believe you have my property!"
funny humor diploma
You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.
funny hate humor
I hate niggas! I hate em! I wish they'd let me join the Ku Klux Klan!
funny humor remember
Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!
funny rap humor
If you wanna get away with murder, all you gotta do is shoot somebody in the head and put a demo tape in their pocket! "This is a rap killing. Let's go home!"
funny brother hate
Farrakhan got everybody together for the Million Man March and everything. But Farrakhan don't like the Jews. Which is bugged. I get my hair cut on Dekalb Avenue. I never been in a barbershop and heard a bunch of brothers talking about Jews. Black people don't hate Jews. Black people hate white people! We don't got time to dice white people up into little groups. I hate everybody! I don't care if you just got here. "Hey, I'm Romanian." "You Romanian cracker!"