Chris Rock
Chris Rock
Christopher Julius "Chris" Rock III is an American comedian, actor, and producer...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1965
CityAndrews, SC
funny hilarious laughter
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
always-complaining impossible mets
You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.
mean disrespect
I mean no disrespect to anything I did before.
smart people smart-people
If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.
zebras princess men
In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you’re a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you’re short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you’re a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you’re a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.
life-is-short humor years
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
greatness want way
I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.
people would-be rich
If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets,
beautiful children smart
So, to say Obama is progress is saying that he’s the first black person that is qualified to be president. That’s not black progress. That’s white progress. There’s been black people qualified to be president for hundreds of years. The question is, you know, my kids are smart, educated, beautiful, polite children. There have been smart, educated, beautiful, polite black children for hundreds of years. The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.
funny humor winning
Don't argue! You cannot win, you cannot beat a woman in a arguement. It's impossble you will not win. Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense
children years comedian
I've told Michael Jackson jokes. If you got really technical, you could say those are jokes about child molestation. You could, if you got technical. A lot of this is just selective outrage because honestly, the audience are the ones that tell us that something shouldn't be spoken. The audience lets us know. And I've never, in my almost 30 years of being a comedian, seen a comedian continue to tell a joke that the audience doesn't respond to. I've never seen it.
thinking want ifs
You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched.
inspirational government taxation
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
home thinking people
I get approached to do shows all the time. There's a lot of money in sitcoms, but I've never been the kind of guy who wanted to do one. I don't think people want to see me saying "Honey, I'm home." It's just not my thing.