Bob Monkhouse
Bob Monkhouse
Robert Alan "Bob" Monkhouse, OBE was an English entertainer...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth1 June 1928
Bob Monkhouse quotes about
funny-love mother weekend
My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'
wife funny-marriage house
I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.
funny humor guarantees-that
I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
funny humor college
Dulwich College takes me back after seventy years: My Mum must have written one hell of a sick note!
funny humor cat
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded: 'Take me to the canaries'.
funny humor flames
A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.
funny radio comedy
I got my start in silent radio.
funny-marriage pay investment
Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.
father funny-dad volvo
My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
funny humor homeless
Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?
funny-retirement age retiring
What do gardeners do when they retire?
funny humor wife
My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
funny humor laughing
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
wife funny-marriage use
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.