Bob Monkhouse
Bob Monkhouse
Robert Alan "Bob" Monkhouse, OBE was an English entertainer...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth1 June 1928
Bob Monkhouse quotes about
funny humor college
Dulwich College takes me back after seventy years: My Mum must have written one hell of a sick note!
funny humor cat
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded: 'Take me to the canaries'.
winner knows sinner
I know I'm a sinner, but make me a winner!
funny humor flames
A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.
funny radio comedy
I got my start in silent radio.
home son drug
I came home and found that my son was taking drugs - my very best ones too!
funny-marriage pay investment
Marriage is an investment which pays dividends if you pay interest.
girl real real-happiness
Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money
father funny-dad volvo
My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
archer paper toilets
The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.
funny humor homeless
Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?
funny-retirement age retiring
What do gardeners do when they retire?
mom mother baby
My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
funny humor wife
My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.