Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks
William Melvin "Bill" Hickswas an American stand-up comedian, social critic, satirist, and musician. His material, encompassing a wide range of social issues including religion, politics, and philosophy, was controversial, and often steeped in dark comedy. He criticized consumerism, superficiality and banality within the media and popular culture, which he characterized as oppressive tools of the ruling class that keep people "stupid and apathetic"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 December 1961
CityValdosta, GA
CountryUnited States of America
'Warning: Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth.'...Found MY brand! Just don't get the ones that say 'lung cancer.'
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.
They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet.
Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] 'good evening everybody, remember me, smoking's bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww. You ever seen somebody do that? I've seen someone do that. Let me tell you something — if you're smoking out of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] I'd think about quitting. And that's just me, ya know.
They also have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form.
The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit ... left chocolate eggs in the night. Now ... I wonder why we're f-ked up as a race. I've read the Bible. I can't find the word "bunny" or "chocolate" anywhere in the f-king book.
I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um – they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?