Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks
William Melvin "Bill" Hickswas an American stand-up comedian, social critic, satirist, and musician. His material, encompassing a wide range of social issues including religion, politics, and philosophy, was controversial, and often steeped in dark comedy. He criticized consumerism, superficiality and banality within the media and popular culture, which he characterized as oppressive tools of the ruling class that keep people "stupid and apathetic"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth16 December 1961
CityValdosta, GA
CountryUnited States of America
No, I don't do drugs anymore, either. But I'll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I'll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it's not a very popular idea, you don't hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth: I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.
I'm not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up: 'STRATFORD SUCKS!' Am I supposed to run after these guys? I'd just stand there, you know. They'd back up. 'STRATFORD SUCKS! ...STRATFORD SUCKS!' I'd say, 'I know. I go there. You're wasting gas, man.
Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister.
I saw...a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
They tell us "Rock'n'roll is the devil's music." Well, let's say we know that rock is the devil's music, and we know that it is, for sure ... At least he f-kin' jams! If it's a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin' Block ... I'm gonna be surfin' on the lake of fire, rockin' out.
They also have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
Sixteen years I've pounded my head against the mentality of America, which...I'd say it's about an 8th grade emotional level.
The role of the comedian is to say 'Wait a minute' when a consensus starts to form.
The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit ... left chocolate eggs in the night. Now ... I wonder why we're f-ked up as a race. I've read the Bible. I can't find the word "bunny" or "chocolate" anywhere in the f-king book.
I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um – they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?