Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
hammer man picked pocket
AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
beneath found frequently gold
ADAMANT, n. A mineral frequently found beneath a corset. Soluble in solicitate of gold.
borrow degree friendship intimate lend object poor rich slight whom
ACQUAINTANCE, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
degree friendship intimate object poor rich slight
Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intimate when he is rich and famous.
coward coward-and-cowardice emergency thinks
A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
employer strike
Strike while your employer has a big contract.
NOVEMBER, n. The eleventh twelfth of a weariness.
advances dash equal foot measure retreats soldier
DRAGOON, n. A soldier who combines dash and steadiness in so equal measure that he makes his advances on foot and his retreats on horseback.
plays
DRAMATIST, n. One who adapts plays from the French.
influences succumb
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.
earnestly misfortune pleasure pursued
Debauchee, n. One who has so earnestly pursued pleasure that he has had the misfortune to overtake it.
attained found goal golden mad race run though work
DEAD, adj.Done with the work of breathing; done With all the world; the mad race run Though to the end; the golden goal Attained and found to be a hole! --Squatol Johnes
awful differ dropping fresh himself man meditate mind prayers shots sin wound
COENOBITE, n. A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness; and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.O Coenobite, O coenobite, Monastical gregarian, You differ from the anchorite, That solitudinarian: With vollied prayers you wound Old Nick; With dropping shots he makes him sick. --Quincy Giles
advance against army army-and-navy emotions generating king replied tactics
OFFENSIVE, adj. Generating disagreeable emotions or sensations, as the advance of an army against its enemy."Were the enemy's tactics offensive?" the king asked. "I should say so!" replied the unsuccessful general. "The blackguard wouldn't come out of his works!