Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Pantheism, n. The doctrine that everything is God, in contradistinction to the doctrine that God is everything.
To the eye of failure success is an accident.
Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first.
MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
Scriptures - The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.