Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionNovelist
Date of Birth24 June 1842
CityMeighs County, OH
CountryUnited States of America
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when thrust into the affairs of others from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.
Laughter--an interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features, and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious, and though intermittent, incurable.
LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.