A. P. Herbert
A. P. Herbert
Sir Alan Patrick Herbert CH, also known as A. P. Herbert or simply A. P. H., was an English humorist, novelist, playwright and law reform activist who served as an independent Member of Parliamentfor Oxford University from the 1935 general election to the 1950 general election, when university constituencies were abolished...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionStatesman
Date of Birth24 September 1890
play symphony would-be
There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before.
noble purpose enjoy
An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
doe too-much
Let's stop somebody from doing something! Everybody does too much.
eye night light
Harriet, Hi! Light of my eye! Come to the pictures and have a good cry, For it's jolly old Saturday, Mad-as-a-hatter-day, Nothing-much-matter-day-night!
hope men miracles-of-god
An act of God was defined as something which no reasonable man could have expected.
luck
Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.
pain police citizens
Citizens who take it upon themselves to do unusual actions which attract the attention of the police should be careful to bring these actions into one of the recognized categories of crimes and offences, for it is intolerable that the police should be put to the pains of inventing reasons for finding them undesirable.
business giving-money government
Well, fancy giving money to the Government! Might as well have put it down the drain.
men smoking rude
aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps; but the lungs are fine.
judging justice should
Justice should be cheap but judges expensive.
funny humor people
People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.
lonely children golf
Elderly gentlemen, gentle in all respects, kind to animals, beloved by children, and fond of music, are found in lonely corners of the downs, hacking at sandpits or tussocks of grass, and muttering in a blind, ungovernable fury elaborate maledictions which could not be extracted from them by robbery or murder. Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behavior not otherwise excusable.
goodbye art father
As my poor father used to say In 1963, Once people start on all this Art Goodbye, moralitee! And what my father used to say Is good enough for me.
life learning science
If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.