Quotes about wit
witty humorous ugly
I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own. Woody Allen
witty inspirational-love humorous
The heart wants what it wants.
witty life-and-love humorous
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.
witty humorous catholic
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
witty humorous ideas
I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
witty new-york humorous
I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It -- with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead.
witty hate humorous
I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
witty atheist philosophy
If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
witty humorous brain
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
witty humorous heart
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.
witty food oysters
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
witty humorous greatness
The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
witty humorous parenting
And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
witty humorous liberty
The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
witty art jobs
The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
witty self-esteem humorous
Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
witty brother crazy
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.
witty falling-in-love humorous
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
witty humorous books-and-movies
We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.
witty humorous conquer
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
witty new-york humorous
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
witty humorous annie-hall
Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
witty humorous honey
Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
witty humorous boys
A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.
witty humorous geek
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
witty humorous want
I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
witty humorous paris
I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
witty humorous heart
The wicked at heart probably know something.
witty stupid humorous
he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something
witty fool
A fool and his words are soon parted. William Shenstone
witty men political
Democracy is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man. Ronald Reagan
witty war marijuana
Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.
without-you justify
He who created you without you will not justify you without you. Saint Augustine