Famous Quotes & Sayings

George Carlin

Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole.

George Carlin

Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.

George Carlin

Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?

George Carlin

I don't have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

George Carlin

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.

George Carlin

I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.

George Carlin

God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.

George Carlin

I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

George Carlin

If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.

George Carlin

Hooray for most things!

George Carlin

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been.

George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.

George Carlin

The future will soon be a thing of the past.

George Carlin

And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National

George Carlin

Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.

George Carlin

Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

George Carlin

"No comment" is a comment.

George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.

George Carlin

One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.

George Carlin

Property is theft. Nobody "owns" anything. When you die, it all stays here.

Gene Simmons

By and large, Americans close their ears to anything not in English. That's stupid because there's some great music around the world that we should be listening to.

Garry Winogrand

Well, I'm not going to get into that. I think that those kind of distinctions and lists of titles like "street photographer" are so stupid. I'm a photographer, a still photographer. That's it.

Fernando Pessoa

In today's life, the world belongs only to the stupid, the insensitive and the agitated. The right to live and triumph is now conquered almost by the same means by which you conquer internment in an asylum: the inability to think, amorality and hiperexcitation.

Fernando Pessoa

There's no greater tragedy than an equal intensity, in the same soul or the same man, of the intellectual sentiment and the moral sentiment. For a man to be utterly and absolutely moral, he has to be a bit stupid. For a man to be absolutely intellectual, he has to be a bit immoral.

Fernando Pessoa

No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it.

Francis Chan

Not being able to fully understand God is frustrating but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending. What a stunted, insignificant god that would be! If my mind is the size of a soda can and God is the size of all the oceans, it would be stupid for me to say He is only the small amount of water I can scoop into my little can. God is so much bigger, so far beyond our time-encased, air/food/sleep-dependent lives.

Erma Bombeck

Many people are intimidated by doctors. ... People also feel stupid when they don't understand what a doctor's talking about the first time around, so they don't ask again. And let's be honest here, people. English is not a doctor's first language.

Erma Bombeck

If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who tried to break in to the Ohio penitentiary.

Erin Heatherton

I definitely only want to do charity work that I'm hands-on involved in. I don't want to get a dress on and go to a stupid event.

Erin Hunter

I'm more lopsided than a one legged badger!" Graypaw stopped his careful stalking to wander comically across the clearing "I will have to settle for hunting stupid mice I shall just wander up to them, and sit on them until they surrender!

Fisher Ames

The House is composed of very good men, not shining, but honest and reasonably well-informed, and in time will be found to improve, and not much inferior in eloquence, science, and dignity, to the British Commons. They are patriotic enough, and I believe there are more stupid (as well as more shining) people in the latter, in proportion.