Quotes about fun
funny jobs humor
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium. Henny Youngman
funny humor men
In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"
funny humor wife
My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week.
funny humor years
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
funny humor men
A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"
funny humor men
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
funny humor men
A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"
funny humor okay
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
funny humor people
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
funny humor keys
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
funny halloween humor
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
funny zebras humor
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
funny humor blow
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
funny easter humor
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
funny humor jigsaw-puzzles
Have you seen the new Polish jigsaw puzzle? One piece.
funny humor insult
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
funny humor order
Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?
funny wall humor
"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"
funny sexy confused
I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.
funny humor numbers
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
funny horse time
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
funny humor gowns
She has a wash and wear bridal gown.
funny life humor
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
funny girl humor
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
funny humor comedy
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
funny humor suffering
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
funny humor men
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
funny kings humor
The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"
funny humor doctors
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
funny running love-life
A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"
funny humor keys
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
funny humor rooms
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
funny humor two
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!