Famous Quotes & Sayings

Dave Barry

Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would all immediately confess to it. Whereas you'll never see a cat display any kind of guilty behavior, despite the fact that several cats were seen in Dallas on the grassy knoll area, not that I wish to start rumors.

Dave Barry

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.

Dave Barry

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

Dave Barry

I wrote about why I didn't think libertarians are really doing this kind of thing so that they can have sex with dogs. I discussed some of the reasons that a person might want to live out of the control of our federal, state, local, and every other form of government. Actually, I don't think I even called myself a libertarian . I think Tom Shroder identified me as one.

Dave Barry

Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers.

Dave Barry

Unlike cats dogs never scratch you when you wash them. They just become very sad and try to figure out what they did wrong.

Dave Barry

You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!

Caitlin Flanagan

What the altar-bound of today end up buying from their numberless vendors is a dog's breakfast of bridal excess - part society wedding of the twenties, part Long Island Italian wedding of the fifties. It's The Philadelphia Story and The Wedding Singer served up together in one curious and costly buffet.

Catherine Crier

My children are all doing just fine. The mountain dogs are great in this weather. The yorkies are freezing.

Catherine Deneuve

The paparazzi are nothing but dogs of war.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

If you think you’re the only person for whom life is painful, you’re wrong. And if you don’t mind letting yourself die like a dog, at least have the decency to remember that there are those of us who do care – although, to tell the truth, I don’t see why?

Camille Paglia

Nothing is more hackneyed than the liberal dogma that shock value confers automatic importance on an artwork.

Camille Paglia

Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.

Bryan Fuller

You can't measure a dog's intelligence by giving him a verbal test 'cause it's not on their scale, but that doesn't mean they're not intelligent creatures.

Cathy Guisewite

My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.

Cathy Guisewite

A lot of married people certainly have wonderful relationships with their dogs, but when you're single and your dog is the only other living thing in your house, it's a really special relationship which I wanted CATHY to have.

Catherine Zeta-Jones

I love my job but it takes a lot for me to leave my kids, leave my husband and leave my dogs.

Caryl Churchill

What I like about a dog it stops people getting after you, they're not going to come round in the night. But they make the place stink because I might want to stay out a few days and when I get back I might want to stay in a few days and a dog can become a tyrant to you.

Casey Abrams

I'm a car singer, in fact sometimes I pretend to take my dog out for a walk, and I'll just drive him around and start singin'.

Caspar Weinberger

I have had a long unabashed love affair with dogs that stretches back to early childhood.

Casey Affleck

The first dog I had was owned by an abusive couple. He was very skittish. He wouldn't let me hold him. It was explained to me that it was because of how he was treated.

Casey Affleck

In my movies, there has been little to do in the way of animal rights. I have never worked in a movie with animals. No horse-riding, no trained dogs, lions, bears. A few actors, but what could I do? We had to have them.

Carl Icahn

You learn in this business.. If you want a friend, get a dog.

Carl Hiaasen

I don't have an e-reader. One reason is that I like to dog-ear the page when I find a particularly good sentence or passage.

We are prepared for at least 250 dogs and cats. Right now we have three to four veterinarians on staff. All the food has been donated from local grocery stores, pet stores, Second Harvest in Milwaukee.

Cory Smith

Where there was water, you would see packs of dogs swimming.

William Shakespeare

Thou art a slave, whom fortune's tender arm With favour never clasp'd; but bred a dog.

William Shakespeare

O villains, vipers, dogs, easily won to fawn on any man!

William Shakespeare

For oaths are straws, men's faiths are wafer-cakes, And hold-fast is the only dog.

William Shakespeare

Villains, vipers, damn'd without redemption; Dogs, easily won to fawn on any man; Snakes in my heart-blood warm'd, that sing my heart; Three Judases, each one thrice worse than Judas.

Steven Moffat

You could only draw conclusions about my personal sexual politics if you proceed from the assumption that I was presenting the characters as the way it is and the way it ought to be. But both are clearly defined as deranged – it’s love among the mad. He’s a psycopath, so is she. She’s prepared to throw him to the dogs until he works out the code, he’s prepared to let her nearly get executed. They’re not really going to buy a house and a Volvo together. I’m not saying this is how people should date!

William Shakespeare

Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.

Louis C. K.

Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?