Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.
hilarious military flower
If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon Dave Barry
hilarious loneliness being-alone
I don't want to be alone, I want to be left alone. Audrey Hepburn
hilarious husband giving
I am truly not one to give advice. I'm divorced and I stole my best friend's husband. Denise Richards
hilarious fun giving
When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back. Bill Watterson
hilarious two cards
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator. Daniel Handler
hilarious lying ifs
If you have something to say and say nothing, you are really telling a lie. Ashleigh Brilliant
hilarious looks unexpected
Look how often the unexpected happens - yet we still never expect it.
hilarious believe fate
One possible reason that I don't believe in fate is that I wasn't fated to.
hilarious since tall
Since he's so tall and so big it was hilarious to see him do it. Quintyn Eldridge
fools-day doubt april-fools
When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. Cynthia Heimel
fools-day months april
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly. Ambrose Bierce
fools-day april excited
Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath. John Oliver
fools-day world april
Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one? George Bernard Shaw
fools-day fool-proof april
Foolproof systems to not take into account the ingenuity of fools.
fools-day people trying
Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS. Jay Leno
fools-day religion april
Even the gods love jokes. Plato
fools-day world haste
The haste of a fool is the slowest thing in the world. Thomas Shadwell