Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charlie Chaplin

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Charlie Chaplin

I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.

Charlie Chaplin

To help a friend in need is easy, but to give him your time is not always opportune.

Charlie Chaplin

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Charlie Chaplin

Life can be wonderful if you're not afraid of it. All it takes is courage, imagination ... and a little dough

Charles Dudley Warner

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.

Charles Dudley Warner

A great artist can paint a great picture on a small canvas.

Charles de Gaulle

I wouldn't mind dying for France, but not for Air France.

Charles de Gaulle

Hearing Mass is the ceremony I most favor during my travels. Church is the only place where someone speaks to me and I do not have to answer back.

Charles de Gaulle

What do you take me for, an idiot?

Charles Caleb Colton

Shakespeare, Butler and Bacon have rendered it extremely difficult for all who come after them to be sublime, witty or profound.

Charles Simmons

Euphonic and harmonious expressions, forcible and just expressions, profound and comprehensive expressions, and especially apt and witty expressions, each have their specific influence upon different minds, and their common influence upon all minds.... It is therefore high time our most valuable aphorisms and paragraphs were put in order for frequent perusal, and for handy reference, as the circumstances of life call up subjects.

Dave Barry

A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Dave Barry

What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up with a terrific-ally witty insult, the kind Winston Churchill always came up with when enormous women asked him stupid questions at parties.

Dave Barry

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

Dave Barry

I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.

Dave Barry

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.

Caroline Dhavernas

It's very witty and it's great to see teenage characters have control that way. And you can actually hear about sex and pot and it's okay, it's not completely bad and you can't say that to teenagers.

Don Ohlmeyer

Veronica's Closet' will do a 27 share on a Thursday night and it's dismissed. And (Comedy Central's) 'South Park' does a two share and it's on the cover of 'Newsweek' magazine.

Don Adams

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all

David Suchet

Deep inside, I am desperate to do comedy.

Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa

American comedies about Asians have never been funny to me. That always kind of pissed me off.

Bob Newhart

I feel more comfortable in comedy.

Bernie Mac

The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.

Bernie Mac

Comedy has been so good to me.

Bernie Mac

Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.

Eddie Izzard

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.