Famous Quotes & Sayings

T. J. Miller

I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

Kurt Braunohler

I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my life?' I started to think about why I was a comedian, and then I came up with a reason for existence, which is: inserting absurdity or stupidity into strangers' lives in order to make the world a better place.

T. J. Miller

Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates.

Robert Lantos

It is a sad testament of the absurdity of the ratings code and the completely illogical moral criteria that provide the underpinning for it, where any form of violence is perfectly acceptable for kids but sexuality continues to be the ultimate taboo,

Peter Sarsgaard

I get so happy to see someone like Jodie descend into absurdity and be human.

Arthur Schopenhauer

There is no absurdity so obvious that it cannot be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to impose it before the age of five, by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity

Adlai E. Stevenson

That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation often become the height of wisdom in another

Baruch Spinoza

He who seeks equality between unequals seeks an absurdity.

Anne Lamott

When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again.

Charles Spurgeon

A sermon wept over is more acceptable with God than one gloried over.

Jon Huntsman

We're interested in making sure we protect middle- and low-income Utah while stimulating economic development, ... we need to make it acceptable to legislators.

Manmohan Singh

We remain hopeful that solutions acceptable to all sides will be found.

Kofi Annan

work this out and come up with an acceptable resolution.

Joel Klein

We requested the opportunity to analyze those suggestions, and there may be a few that are acceptable to us.

Matt Hall

With the real estate property and valuations continually increasing in that area we just can't continue to operate that kind of retail store. We weren't able to secure another lease that was acceptable to us and acceptable to the owners.

Robbie Fowler

When I got there, all the pasta and science stuff hadn't quite caught on in England - things that were perfectly acceptable then wouldn't be tolerated now.

Mark Wood

We have issues with rental houses that often change renters as the school year starts, ... We might get one group of students who understand this is not acceptable and get them to start working with the neighbors only to have to start the process over when the new tenants move in.

Dylan Jones

So going from there to where they are now -- where it is acceptable for a man to nip off at lunch time and have a facial, or a pedicure -- is quite a journey.

Richard Lapchick

Whether or not anything happened, just staging an event like that is a problem. They are representatives of their university and schools have an understood code of conduct, and these guys obviously thought they were going to get away with it and thought it wasn't a big deal. That is unacceptable.

Kevin Charles

We're going to expect crowds to comply with our sportsmanship requirements and our code of conduct for spectators.

Kent Beck

I used Agitator on some code I had unit-tested, and it made me a better tester. As an Agitar Fellow, I look forward to the leverage of working with an outstanding organization as together we continue to improve the value of developer testing.

Dave Gardner

We wrote the first line of code at 11 p.m. Wednesday night,

Craig Venter

We're moving from reading the genetic code to writing it.

Patrick Miller

We let up on the dress code a little during homecoming week for those special theme days, ... They know our focus even this week will still be on education. The tests don't stop just because it's homecoming.

Yaacov Cohen

We've shifted from being a Microsoft-centric company to more of an IBM- and open-systems-centric company. We made the decision prior to the software code leak, and it had nothing to do with that. That's under federal investigation.

Nick Kinsella

The problem with some people is that they use their religion as a part of their identity rather than what it actually is; a code of conduct.

Dennis Hastert

When you really look in depth, the reason we're losing people offshore is the inequity of our tax code as compared to our competitors overseas,

Stephen Baker

The powerful collaboration of industry leaders HP and AMD continues to yield successful results, as demonstrated by the HP Special Edition L2000 Notebook PC. With its rich feature set and distinctive branding, this notebook has proven to be extremely popular throughout the North American retail market.

Joe Donzelli

We are a district that's growing by leaps and bounds. Not that our administration is growing a lot, but we'll need room as the district continues to grow.

Phil Zepeda

We have never seen an outpouring of support like this in our existence. It's just tremendous, and the outpouring of support just continues to come.

Peter Cardillo

There is no question that the State of the Union message last night was very strong and very positive. Obviously the economy continues to do very well. Inflation is low and interest rates are still very low.

Joe Schwieterman

United had suggested that it was on a glide path to emerging from bankruptcy. This suggests there is more turbulence ahead. This continues to dog United.

Scott Baugh

We're ready to get after it. We have had great weather in January and February. I hope it continues like that in March.

Rodell Mollineau

The fact is that per-capita income in Iowa continues to grow.

Parris Glendening

The fact is, if water consumption continues at the current rate, there is only a 35-day supply in these reservoirs.

Michael Carty

There are a lot of good things happening right now, but the market continues to focus on Iraq, interest rates, the presidential election, and particularly right now, the high-profile earnings misses.

Sunny Thomas

We strictly abided by the selection criteria we had set and we did not want to go back on our words by diverting from it.

Alan Stern

Whether or not an object has a moon is not part of the criteria that we've considered, because so many small objects in the solar system have moons,

Jeff Long

Very few schools meet the Title IX criteria on proportionality.

Steve Klesaris

She was pretty high on our 'buy list.' She met all the criteria we look for in a racehorse.

Amy Henderson

When we screened, we had 56 respond to the advertisements. Only 19 met the criteria of pre-diabetic.

William Band

When these organizations looked back, in terms of criteria they did or would use to select CRM software, product capabilities were not nearly as important as most once thought they were.

James O'Shaughnessy

Momentum as a selection criteria works very well. My data suggests that you don't want to focus on laggards, even after they've turned the corner,

Gary Bauer

For me, the criteria has to be to find that individual that has the right philosophy and the right experience to get through a confirmation process, ... There are women that fit those characterizations. There are Hispanics, African-Americans.

H. Hart

I think the number one criteria (for getting into NCAA Tournament) has to be how you did in your conference.

Matthias Platzeck

We want the negotiations on forming a new government to proceed quickly.

David Knopfler

I'd make a terrible practitioner of any religion in any formal setting.

Chad Harbach

The novel has always been the form that incorporates other forms. For me, it has always been the ultimate medium.

Michel Onfray

We can no more tolerate neutrality and benevolence toward every conceivable form of discourse, including that of magical thinking, than we can lump together executioner and victim, good and evil.

Abhisit Vejjajiva

We are protesting a new form of dictatorship and authoritarianism.

Alex Ferguson

We're in great form at the moment and looking forward to every match.

Method Man

I'm an entertainer, so in whatever form I entertain... The thing about being a rapper is that you have more control over your form, whereas with acting you have to compromise a lot.

Nicolas Roeg

I think the big studios shaped and formed the artists that they put under contract.

Heikki Kovalainen

I enjoy playing golf, but no, I don't think golf helps driving. It does take my mind away from driving, though; every time I play golf, I don't think about Formula 1.

Roxanne Taylor

The Andersen Worldwide counterclaim is as illogical today as when it was originally filed 19 months ago.

Abu Ahmed

It would be illogical to say, 'Let's have a public meeting and say our offices are closed,

Nick Jonas

Yo, thats illogical I cant have it!

Charlie Daniels

I've been to Iraq three times. I've been to Afghanistan, I've been quite a few places, and I want to tell you something, these kids, they're the best we've got. They're the best Americans, they're the most loyal Americans we've got. And we owe them when they come back.

Charles de Lint

All my life I've wanted to be the kid who gets to cross over into the magical kingdom.

Alanis Morissette

Well, as a kid I did not get Shakespeare. I just never understood it.

Alan Hansen

You'll never win anything with kids

Alan Alda

Kids are natural scientists.

Al Purdy

In my own mind, I was sort of a desperate kid.

Al Madrigal

Near my house in Los Angeles is a waterfall. I love to take the wife and kids, but it's also near a sketchy neighborhood. So there's a lot of gang members that hang out at the waterfall. It's like somebody took an Ansel Adams photo and then put a Cypress Hill video inside it.

Al Lewis

I went to all the Love-Ins. I took my kids. I enjoyed myself.

Brad Lancaster

We want the kids to do as well as they can. There are so many opportunities (for various activities), and that's good. But, how do we make sure it's not a distraction.

Al Sharpton

I feel that it is our moral obligation to stand and to be courageous with these families, and particularly Cindy, that have become the conscience of this nation.

David Brooks

The moral foundation of the society, the way we interact with each other is more fundamental than the Supreme Court.

Edmond Rostand

To offend is my pleasure; I love to be hated.

Edwin Hubbel Chapin

Morality is but the vestibule of religion.

Edward Kennedy

It is a moral issue how we are going to treat workers. On these issues, these are moral issues, principled issues, where there aren't compromises.

Barbara Tuchman

We seem to be afflicted by a widespread and eroding reluctance to take any stand on any values, moral, behavioral or esthetic.

Daniel Hannan

The most dangerous diminutions of freedom come from those who are convinced of their moral rectitude.

Bess Myerson

The accomplice to the crime of corruption is frequently our own indifference.

Bob Hawke

Do you know why I have credibility? Because I don't exude morality.

Bill Johnson

Fear is a thief. It robbed Peter of a perfectly good walk on water, & kept the other eleven in the boat.

JoAnn Carrin

We're confused. We don't understand the judge's reaction. We're perfectly prepared to prosecute this case.

Katherine Schwarzenegger

I don't do my hair very perfectly because I think it looks sexier when you don't have everything perfectly structured out.

John Drinkwater

Poe's saying that a long poem is a sequence of short ones is perfectly just.

Neil Ingle

I wish there was something we could do to stop it, but it is zoned GB (general business), and it is perfectly in their right to put it there.

Aldous Huxley

Fortunately, however, birds don't understand pep talks. Not even St. Francis'. Just imagine, he went on, preaching sermons to perfectly good thrushes and goldfinches and chiff-chaffs! What presumption! Why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut and let the birds preach to him?

Theophilus London

I want to wear something that's not perfectly matching; there has to be something unorthodox about it. I want to create this mystery.

David Schwimmer

To be perfectly honest, I feel I have a duty to use my celebrity status in a positive way.

Elsa Peretti

I hate that impeccable, perfectly perfect look, all matched and prearranged.

Charles Spurgeon

We must mark God's providence leading us; and if providence tarries, tarry till providence comes

John Gregg

Ultimately there could be two providers in Portsmouth, ... one step at a time.

Megan Crandall

When you turn it on, it will recognize that that vehicle turned it on - date, time, everything. It essentially provides accountability.

Martin Seligman

I strongly disapprove of torture and have never and would never provide assistance in its process.

Paul LaViolette

We're going to run some new plays, and we think they're going to provide us some more momentum.

John Barnett

We're being called on to provide services we don't have,

David DeFazio

Many of the statements (appeared) to have been provided to her.

Sgt. Devine

She said she had no idea which town she in. Fortunately we were able to provide this type of intervention before a catastrophe occurred.

Bobbi Koppel

We're able to provide a lot of opportunity. These are the things that students see the most.

Ted Sarandos

What I didn't want to do is get into a ratings race with television because really, for them, it matters. For me, it doesn't.

Nancy Pelosi

I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the ratings of Congress. I really don't.

Larry Peck

It doesn't get much better than that. It's phenomenal. Those ratings rival those of the majors.

Tom O'Neil

It's possible. There are ratings spikes for shows that win the top awards, ... The Emmys.

Paul Holmes

They put on Ernie Dingo and their ratings went UP!

Marc Ganis

Ratings are down because ratings are down for every network.

Regis Philbin

They could have had Regis back this year if they wanted. Ratings were pretty high.

Drew Lachey

In terms of TV and for the ratings that the show gets, it's ridiculous.

Charlie Chaplin

What a sad business is being funny!

Charles Dickens

We need never be ashamed of our tears.

Charles Dickens

Some women's faces are, in their brightness, a prophecy; and some, in their sadness, a history.

Charles Caleb Colton

Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always; for cowardice sometimes prevents it; since as many live because they are afraid to die, as die because they are afraid to live.

Charles Caleb Colton

To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet.

Charles Spurgeon

God alone can do what seems impossible. This is the promise of his grace: 'I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten' (Joel 2:25). God can give back all those years of sorrow, and you will be the better for them. God will grind sunlight out of your black nights. In the oven of affliction, grace will prepare the bread of delight. Someday you will thank God for all your sadness.

Al Stewart

You reach out your hand, but you're all alone, in those time passages.

Akhenaton

What is the source of sadness, but feebleness of the mind? What giveth it power but the want of reason? Rouse thyself to the combat, and she quitteth the field before thou strikest.

Chris Colfer

I know I'm bitter and a little jaded, and mildly enjoy it, but am I a sad person? Am I happy? I plan on being happy in the future for sure, but it isn't here yet. So what does that make me, exactly?

Barbet Schroeder

I chose to treat the homosexuality like I would treat any other form of sexuality.

Jasmine Guy

There is no sexuality that is greater or lesser than another.

Anita Bryant

[On homosexuality:] I'm more inclined [now] to say live and let live.

Ann Landers

Are you better off with him or without him?

Adrienne Rich

The suppressed lesbian I had been carrying in me since adolescence began to stretch her limbs ...

David Bowie

Sexuality and where it is going is an extraordinary question, for I don't see it going anywhere. It is with me, and that's it.

Francis DeBernardo

That shows the Vatican has no understanding of sexuality or homosexuality.

Catharine MacKinnon

If pornography is part of your sexuality, then you have no right to your sexuality.

Fiona Apple

For a while after the rape, I was afraid of my own sexuality, because I got raped right about the time when I started developing physically.

Lionel Blue

Some of the parables of the Kingdom made wonderful sense, but the exclusivity in the New Testament put me off.

Clay Matthews III

We put a lot of pride into our work, and to have it show on Sundays is a testament to all the work we've put in.

Henry David Thoreau

You don't know your testament when you see it.

Nick Clooney

The kind of Iraq that emerges from all of this is ultimately out of our hands.

Charles Kendall Adams

No one ever attains success by simply doing what is required of him.

Eleanor Roosevelt

To leave the world richer—that is the ultimate success.

Brad Chalk

Getting to Omaha, that's the ultimate goal. If I batted .100 and we made it there, then I would feel like I succeeded.

Walter Jones

I think so. This is the ultimate goal.

Lloyd Cutler

And we made decisions on each of those matters which were ultimately upheld by the courts.

Casey Neistat

Then HBO was the pie in the sky. HBO is the absolute ultimate.

Donald Trump

I say God is the ultimate.

Donald Trump

Brainpower is the ultimate leverage

Bo Derek

There's an incredible fascination for that and that goes with violence and everything else in pictures.

Betty Williams

Non violence is not a thing that comes easily. You have to learn how to be non-violent

Edward James Olmos

Education is a vacine for violence

Athol Fugard

You can't answer violence with counter violence ... The answer is love. The best sabotage is love.

Arthur Conan Doyle

Violence recoils on the violent.

Baltasar Gracian

Most do violence to their natural aptitude, and thus attain superiority in nothing.

Aung San Suu Kyi

There is nothing to be gained by being unnecessarily nasty. Violence begets violence.

Aasif Mandvi

For anybody who's ever been on the other end of, like, racial violence logic is not something that can be used.

Chazz Palminteri

Mental violence is as bad as physical violence. You don't see that very often in movies, so it was a good subject to tackle.