Related Quotes
funny people wondered
People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny. Larry David
funny mankind maybe mystery order separate understand word words
Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind. 
funny half opening written year
Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway. Susan Stroman
funny heart people
The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock. Billy Corgan
funny teamwork football
A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing. Bill Shankly
funny golf hockey
He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot." Bill Engvall
funny girl home
My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"
funny uncles humor
No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.
funny humor vacation
I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."
sarcastic fake-people sarcasm
You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well. Carrie Fisher
sarcastic women humor
Instant gratification takes too long.
sarcastic fitness sarcasm
Muscles come and go; flab lasts. Bill Vaughan
sarcastic fun thinking
Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car. Bill Bryson
sarcastic looks being-sarcastic
Aw, now look at that, you're being sarcastic, aren't you? Carl Jung
sarcastic men common-sense
He was one of those men who possess almost every gift, except the gift of the power to use them. Charles Kingsley
sarcastic song humor
In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is really charming. Alanis Morissette
sarcastic sorry mean
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you're sorry. Charles Osgood
sarcastic sophisticated egotistical
A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity. Benjamin Disraeli
noses fame gas
Getting into the Hall of Fame won't change me. I'm still going to pass gas and pick my nose like I always do. Bert Blyleven
noses bakeries bread
Sometimes I feel like I've got my nose pressed up against the window of a bakery, only I'm the bread.
noses notice pressed store useful writers
Writers are outsiders. Even when we seem like insiders, we're outsiders. We have to be. Our noses pressed to the glass, we notice everything. We mull and interpret. We store away clues, details that may be useful to us later. Dani Shapiro
noses nervous sometimes
I love my nose! I was so nervous when I got pregnant that I was going to get that weird nose spread that you sometimes see pregnant ladies get. Busy Philipps
noses wilderness stealing
The sweetest hunts are stolen. To steal a hunt, either go far into the wilderness where no one has been, or else find some undiscovered place under everybody's nose Aldo Leopold
noses ears goes-on
So he started to climb out of the hole. He pulled with his front paws, and pushed with his back paws, and in a little while his nose was in the open again ... and then his ears ... and then his front paws ... and then his shoulders ... and then-'Oh, help!' said Pooh, 'I'd better go back,' 'Oh bother!' said Pooh, 'I shall have to go on.' 'I can't do either!' said Pooh, 'Oh help and bother! A. A. Milne
noses remember shattered
I remember on 'JAG,' Joe Jackson punched Stephen Culp and shattered his nose. David James Elliott
noses mules parks
The National Park Service shot a mule in the face. He survived but had trouble swallowing and often food came out of his nose. Cleveland Amory
noses grindstone
I've been good about keeping my nose to the grindstone. Andy Roddick