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funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.
fruit-juice sugar salmon
I have no sugar. I don't eat fruit or even fruit juice because of the sugar. I eat chicken and salmon and rice. Britney Spears
drink-milk going-out clubs
I love going out to clubs. Granted, I don't get hammered or do anything to embarrass myself. I'd call myself wholesome but it's not like I only drink milk. Carrie Underwood
drink-milk pasta salad
I don't drink milk, and I don't eat bread, pasta or rice. But I eat a lot of meat, chicken, fish and salads. Mikhail Baryshnikov