Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Gregory Lagana

People know when they take this job this could happen, because it's the nature of the contracting business, but it still hurts. We hate to see this happen. We hate to lose the work and we hate to lay off employees.

Harold Duarte-Bernhardt

People never hate you! They just dont like themselves in your presence.

Joseph Conrad

Remember, Razumov, that women, children, and revolutionists hate irony, which is the negation of all saving instincts, of all faith, of all devotion, of all action.

Bruce Fein

plant the seeds of racial separateness and of hatred in the law.

Becca Fitzpatrick

Patch smiled. “You come by your red hair naturally?” I stared at him. “I don’t have red hair.” “I hate to break it to you, but it’s red. I could light it on fire and it wouldn’t turn any redder.

Becca Fitzpatrick

Hate to disappoint, but no feathers. I came to Earth stripped naked.

Barry McGuire

Think of all the hate there is in Red China, then take a look around to Selma, Alabama.

Barry McGuire

Hate your next-door neighbor, but don't forget to say grace.

Barry Lopez

The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference. To be indifferent is to not express love.

Justin Verlander

People in real life don't get ballplayers' humor, the way we talk in the clubhouse.

Stan Heath

Steven has a humorous side to him that you wouldn't expect. I see more of it this season. Life is more normal for him in some ways. He's opening up slowly.

Joanna Lumley

That's the staggering, humorous thing about money. If you haven't got taste, money doesn't matter: You'll always look ghastly.

Karen Leathem

I think it's sort of a trademark quality of New Orleans that people can usually find humor in the worst situations.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Ed Peterson

I think this is a legislative sense of humor the rest of us don't appreciate.

Stephen J. Cannell

I love 'Dexter.' The dark sense of humor is wonderful.

Carlos Ponce

I can't live without a sense of humor. I need to be laughing and entertained at all times.

Justin Turner

Jamaal is real a humorous and entertaining guy.

John Ridley

I don't think I'm alarmist. I'm more disappointed by the euphemisms in some instances than outright bigotry. Now, to me, you walk around with a Klan hat on or you've got a swastika on you arm, you just look like a dope, you know what I mean?

Robert Sinclair

Our members are screaming. People are wondering where it's going to go and, of course, we can't tell them.

Dan Scott

Our members are hopped up and very angry.

Roger Toussaint

Our members will stand together and stand firm, and make sure the organization is not broken.

Steve MacFarlane

Our members know that working for Northwest Airlines, they have to have a strike fund.

Travis Barker

Right now, one of our members needs time off, so we're granting him that,

John Thain

pleased with the resolution of this litigation, which allows our members to vote as planned on the proposed merger on Dec. 6.

Bertrand Russell

Is the set of all sets which are not members of themselves a member of itself?

John Bercow

I was proud to be a Tory Member of Parliament for twelve years, proud to represent Buckingham as a Tory, proud to have voted with my party 99% of the time as the record shows.

Niranjan Shah

It is nothing. If some members (of the board) want to speak to the press about it, we can't do anything.

John Barrett

That's usually the consumer's way of saying they're not interested.

Scott Simms

I think this is what we expected, ultimately. We didn't do anything wrong -- that's what we've been saying all along.

Frank MacKay

It doesn't have any basis. It's like me saying they're Martians; it's silly.

Hal McManus

I'm so tired of saying 'box out' that I'm sick of it. I think I say 'box out' in my sleep.

Herman Edwards

I don't even know, ... I'm not trying to start a quarterback controversy and say who the quarterback is. Anything is possible. But I'm not saying we're switching, I'm not saying that.

M. Wolfe

I was like 'Why am I saying not guilty?' ... I thought I had to or something. It was the wrong decision.

Earl Hamner

I can't get used to saying the words, 'my biographer,'

Joe Wooden

Just like the old saying goes, "Vasser's boon-doggling again.

Richie Benaud

If it was me, I probably wouldn't be saying anything.