Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature. Charles Dickens
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse. Charles Dickens
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions. Charles Dickens
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people. Charles Dickens
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home! Charles Dickens
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers. Charles Dickens
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent. Charles Caleb Colton
birthday tin cold
Here I sit, alone at 60, Bald and fat and full of sin Cold the seat, and loud the cistern As I read the (Harpic) (Lysol) tin Alan Bennett
birthday children nice
My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing. Chris Brown
birthday mom fashion
My mom won't let me buy high-fashion stuff unless it's TK Maxx or a birthday occasion. Chloe Grace Moretz
birthday nice party
It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?' David Sedaris
birthday sex eye
The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. Dave Barry
birthday people age
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. Dave Barry
birthday age today
Today, you're 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday! Dave Barry
birthday simple men
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. Dave Barry
birthday stars fun
The main prank that we play with props is for people's birthdays. The special effects people will put a little explosive in the cake so it blows up in their face - that's always fun to play on a guest star, or one of the trainees or someone who's new. Catherine Bell
marriage stars wife
My wife, the star I steer by. David McCullough
marriage party talking
As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse. Dave Barry
marriage remains engines
Marriage remains the most efficient engine of disenchantment yet invented. Caitlin Flanagan
marriage want married
When I'm married I want to be single, and when I'm single I want to be married. Cary Grant
marriage mass potential terrorism weapons
The potential marriage of weapons of mass destruction with terrorism is everyone's nightmare. Condoleezza Rice
marriage men village
As a walled town is more worthier than a village, so is the forehead of a married man more honorable than the bare brow of a bachelor. William Shakespeare
marriage carnival-rides carnivals
Marriage isn't a carnival ride. Aisha Tyler
marriage kids grandchildren
I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much. Bob Newhart
marriage rocks long
A marriage is like a long trip in a tiny row boat: if one passenger starts to rock the boat, the other has to steady it, otherwise, they will go to the bottom together. David Reuben