Famous Quotes & Sayings

Charles Caleb Colton

If you cannot avoid a quarrel with a blackguard, let your lawyer manage it, rather than yourself. No man sweeps his own chimney, but employs a chimney-sweeper, who has no objection to dirty work, because it is his trade.

Charles Dickens

Fog everywhere. Fog up the river where it flows among green airs and meadows; fog down the river, where it rolls defiled among the tiers of shipping, and the waterside pollutions of a great (and dirty) city.... Chance people on the bridges peeping over the parapets into a nether sky of fog, with fog all round them, as if they were up in a balloon and hanging in the misty clouds.

Charles Soule

Black Bolt is typically a stoic leader, part of a larger cast of Inhumans who get their hands dirty in ways that he doesnt.

Buddy Hackett

If it's dirty, it's not funny, but if it's funny, it's not dirty.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

-Do you think it's dirty money? -All money is dirty. If it were clean nobody would want it.

Camille Paglia

The [sexual harassment] situation has gotten so out of hand that, in 1993, in one of the first British cases, a plumber was fired for continuing to use the traditional term "ballcock" for the toilet flotation unit, instead of the new politically correct term, sanitized of sexual suggestiveness. This is insane. We are back to the Victorian era, when table legs had to be draped lest they put the thought of ladies' legs into someone's dirty mind.

Cale Yarborough

Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it.

Billy Joel

Remember how I found you there alone in your electric chair, I told you dirty jokes until you smiled.

Betty White

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny.

Charles Caleb Colton

Expect not praise without envy until you are dead.

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

Charles Simmons

Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery

Alan Watts

The reason we want to go on and on is because we live in an impoverished present.

Alan Moore

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Charles Spurgeon

The wishing gate opens into nothing.

Al Stewart

The literati in their cellarsPerform semantic tarantellas.I wish I did it half as well as them.

Al Pacino

My weaknesses... I wish I could come up with something. I'd probably have the same pause if you asked me what my strengths are. Maybe they're the same thing.

David Guetta

Wish I could spin my world into reverse just to have you back again

Caitlin Moran

I wish I could learn that just three drinks is enough, but I have not learned that.

Bryan Davis

Daryl shrugged. "If wishes were wardrobes, we'd be in Narnia.

Catherynne M. Valente

I wish you the best that can be hoped for, and no worse than can be expected.

William Shakespeare

Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable.(attributed to)

William Shakespeare

If wishes would prevail with me, my purpose should not fail with me.