Famous Quotes & Sayings

Carol Leifer

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Carol Leifer

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Carl Friedrich Gauss

Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done.

Agnes Repplier

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

Agnes Repplier

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Abba Eban

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Alan King

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Alan Kay

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

Charlie Chaplin

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Charles de Gaulle

What do you take me for, an idiot?

Charles Caleb Colton

Shakespeare, Butler and Bacon have rendered it extremely difficult for all who come after them to be sublime, witty or profound.

Charles Simmons

Euphonic and harmonious expressions, forcible and just expressions, profound and comprehensive expressions, and especially apt and witty expressions, each have their specific influence upon different minds, and their common influence upon all minds.... It is therefore high time our most valuable aphorisms and paragraphs were put in order for frequent perusal, and for handy reference, as the circumstances of life call up subjects.

Ricky Gervais

Most people sitting at home aren't cool, successful, witty Hollywood stars, but they all worry about what people think of them when they faux pas.

Susan B. Anthony

Every woman should have a purse of her own.

Dave Barry

A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Dave Barry

What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up with a terrific-ally witty insult, the kind Winston Churchill always came up with when enormous women asked him stupid questions at parties.

Dave Barry

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

Dave Barry

I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.

Agnes Varda

I try to do nothing. I drink rosemary when I have a lot of work to do. People take coffee, they take speed, whatever. I take rosemary.

Alan Kay

A computer scientist is a machine for converting coffee into urine.

Charles Dickens

I could settle down into a state of equable low spirits, and resign myself to coffee.

Charles Dickens

There was a little plate of hothouse nectarines on the table, and there was another of grapes, and another of sponge-cakes, and there was a bottle of light wine ... 'This is my frugal breakfast ... Give me my peach, my cup of coffee, and my claret.'

Charles Dickens

The coffee was boiling over a charcoal fire, and large slices of bread and butter were piled one upon the other like deals in a lumber yard.

Charles Stuart Calverley

But what is coffee, but a noxious berry, Born to keep used-up Londoners awake?

Jason Mraz

When I finished performing 'I Won't Give Up' for the first time, I opened my eyes, and I think there was maybe six people in there when I started, and when I finished there was about 30 people, all standing around with their jaws dropped in complete silence. I said, 'Okay, I think this song has some power to it.' So coffee shops work for me.

Brandi Carlile

Coffee, whiskey, and fishing poles. That’s really all you need in life.

David Sedaris

This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.