Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.
witty profound sublime
Shakespeare, Butler and Bacon have rendered it extremely difficult for all who come after them to be sublime, witty or profound.
witty expression order
Euphonic and harmonious expressions, forcible and just expressions, profound and comprehensive expressions, and especially apt and witty expressions, each have their specific influence upon different minds, and their common influence upon all minds.... It is therefore high time our most valuable aphorisms and paragraphs were put in order for frequent perusal, and for handy reference, as the circumstances of life call up subjects. Charles Simmons
witty memories kids
A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. Dave Barry
witty stupid party
What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up with a terrific-ally witty insult, the kind Winston Churchill always came up with when enormous women asked him stupid questions at parties.
witty time compelling-reason
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
witty technology promise
I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.
witty powerful reality
Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators.
witty sex teenage
It's very witty and it's great to see teenage characters have control that way. And you can actually hear about sex and pot and it's okay, it's not completely bad and you can't say that to teenagers. Caroline Dhavernas
witty tongue wit
Your wits make others witty. Catherine the Great
hands feelings excess
The victims of ennui paralyze all the grosser feelings by excess, and torpify all the finer by disuse and inactivity. Disgusted with this world, and indifferent about another, they at last lay violent hands upon themselves, and assume no small credit for the sang froid with which they meet death. But, alas! such beings can scarcely be said to die, for they have never truly lived.
hands class two
Literature has her quacks no less than medicine, and they are divided into two classes; those who have erudition without genius, and those who have volubility without depth; we shall get second-hand sense from the one, and original nonsense from the other.
hands sorrow tears
If I dropped a tear upon your hand, may it wither it up! If I spoke a gentle word in your hearing, may it deafen you! If I touched you with my lips, may the touch be poison to you! A curse upon this roof that gave me shelter! Sorrow and shame upon your head! Ruin upon all belonging to you!
hands feet office
Skewered through and through with office-pens, and bound hand and foot with red tape.
hands library grew
I grew up on second hand bookshops and libraries. Charles Stross
hands soul half
I would rather lay my soul asoak in half a dozen verses [of the Bible] all day than rinse my hand in several chapters. Charles Spurgeon
hands despair rope
Faith has a saving connection with Christ. Christ is on the shore, so to speak, holding the rope, and as we lay hold of it with the hand of our confidence, He pulls us to shore; but all good works having no connection with Christ are drifted along down the gulf of fell despair.
hands soap calling
There’s no shame about any honest calling; don’t be afraid of soiling your hands, there’s plenty of soap to be had.
hands ignorant used
And it came to pass that in the hands of the ignorant, the words of the Bible were used to beat plowshares into swords Alan Watts