Related Quotes
funny humorous mind
I have made up my mind that I must have money, Pa. I feel that I can't beg it, borrow it, or steal it; and so I have resolved that I must marry it. Charles Dickens
funny morning self
All knives and forks were working away at a rate that was quite alarming; very few words were spoken; and everybody seemed to eat his utmost, in self defence, as if a famine were expected to set in before breakfast-time to-morrow morning, and it had become high time to assert the first law of nature.
funny death witty
He would make a lovely corpse.
funny kings humorous
It is an old prerogative of kings to govern everything but their passions.
funny people literature
Although a skillful flatterer is a most delightful companion if you have him all to yourself, his taste becomes very doubtful when he takes to complimenting other people.
funny christmas xmas
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
funny law people
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
funny marriage wedding
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
funny age fifty
I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.
wisdom expectations looks
Take nothing on its looks; take everything on evidence. There's no better rule.
wisdom knowledge literature
We own almost all our knowledge not to those who have agreed but to those who have differed.
wisdom intelligence literature
Mystery is not profoundness.
wisdom next profit
The next thing to having wisdom ourselves, is to profit by that of others.
wisdom believe errors
Be very slow to believe that you are wiser than all others; it is a fatal but common error.
wisdom perfection
Perfection doesn't exist... only good attempts.
wisdom character
The true measure of your character is what you do when nobody's watching.
wisdom ifs
What would you do if you knew for sure that no one would ever find out?
wisdom age next
Most of the wisdom of one age, is the folly of the next. Charles Simmons
sarcasm gun thinking
The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps. Eddie Izzard
sarcasm magic trouble
If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
sarcasm chaos
Without sarcasm I sink into chaos. Antonin Artaud
sarcasm flattery form
Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor but the highest form of flattery. Benjamin Franklin
sarcasm
I like sarcasm. I like snark. Alexis Ohanian
sarcasm one-thing i-can
I can do only one thing at a time, but I can avoid doing many things simultaneously. Ashleigh Brilliant
sarcasm past action
The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering!
sarcasm want brilliant
I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
sarcasm long enough
You have delighted us long enough. Jane Austen