Zach Galifianakis
Zach Galifianakis
Zacharius Knight "Zach" Galifianakis is an American actor, writer and stand-up comedian. Galifianakis came to prominence with his Comedy Central Presents special in 2001 and presented his own show called Late World with Zach on VH1 the following year. He has also starred in films, such as The Hangover trilogy, Due Date, The Campaign, Birdmanand had a voice role in the animated film Puss in Boots...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth1 October 1969
CityWilkesboro, NC
CountryUnited States of America
You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.
You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar.
Head gear, plus acne equals...table for one in the cafeteria.
When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
I don't mean to be gross, but the only time it's good to yell "I have diarrhea" is when you're playing Scrabble because it's worth a shitload of points.
I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me!
The other day, I got a henna tattoo that says "Forever."
Hookers don't like to snuggle.
Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
Yesterday, I masturbated for 45 minutes... with salad tongs.
I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a conversation, I say "I didn't like 9/11."
I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole."
I'd like to do a reality show with four white people...who are dropped off in a really bad black neighborhood. And the show would be called...Cracker Hunt.
My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him.