Wanda Sykes
Wanda Sykes
Wanda Sykesis an American comedian, writer, actress and voice artist. She was first recognized for her work as a writer on The Chris Rock Show, for which she won a Primetime Emmy Award in 1999. In 2004, Entertainment Weekly named Sykes as one of the 25 funniest people in America. She is also known for her role as Barb Baran on CBS' The New Adventures of Old Christine and for appearances on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 March 1964
CityPortsmouth, VA
CountryUnited States of America
The president is on national TV apologizing for getting oral sex. Why didn't he just stick with his lie? You got to stick with your lie. If you lie, you have to believe that lie whole-heartedly. It has to become the truth for you. But this man, the most powerful man in the world, is on national TV apologizing for receiving oral sex. He's an idiot. There are men sitting in here right now who would gladly accept oral sex on national TV.
Since when did I become the spokesperson for nappy-headed hos?
I'm like, If you do something dumb, I'll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it's like you're kind of asking for it.
That's what they want: two women. Fellas, I think that's a bit lofty. Because, come on, think about it - if you can't satisfy that one woman, why do you want to piss off another one? Why have two angry women in the bed with you at the same time? And think about it - you know how much you hate to talk after sex, imagine having two women just nagging you to death.
Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.
If you don't believe in same-sex marriage, then don't marry somebody of the same sex.
Whether you have a show or not, you can still be somewhere being funny.
As soon as you say 'I do,' you'll discover that marriage is like a car. Both of you might be sitting in the front seat, but only one of you is driving. And most marriages are more like a motorcycle than a car. Somebody has to sit in the back, and you have to yell just to be heard.
I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.
If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
Good comics stick around. There are people who have TV shows that might be successful, but comics can't really fake it. If you say, 'Hey, I love what you guys are doing - you're funny,' then you're in. It's legit.
These CEOs, man ... If you're that ruthless, you're a scary dude. I tell you, now when I walk past a little gang banger, I don't even blink. But if I see a white dude with a Wall Street Journal, I haul ass. Before I walk past the Arthur Andersen building, I cut through the projects. If you cut through the projects, you may just lose what you have on you that day. I ain't never been mugged of my whole future.
When my wife and I leave California, I want to have my marriage recognized in Nevada, Arizona, all the way to New York. How can you stop people from loving each other? How can you get upset about loving?
I'm a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.