Victoria Wood
Victoria Wood
Victoria Wood CBEwas an English comedian, actress, singer and songwriter, screenwriter and director. Wood wrote and starred in sketches, plays, musicals, films and sitcoms, and her live comedy act was interspersed with her own compositions, which she performed on piano. Much of her humour was grounded in everyday life and included references to quintessentially "British" activities, attitudes and products. She was noted for her skills in observing culture and in satirising social classes...
NationalityBritish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth19 May 1953
I like writing a lot more than I used to. I used to find it scary but now I've got used to it once it gets going. I used to find it hard to start. Fear of the blank page. The first thing you write down won't bear any relation to what's in your head and that's always disappointing.
In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.
I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts.
If you behave normally, people treat you normally. It's only when you act as if you're someone special that they feel obliged to stand on ceremony.
I have been in a youth hostel...You are put in a kitchen with seventeen venture scouts with behavioural difficulties and made to wash swedes.
If God had meant men to have children, he would have given them a PVC apron.
If God had meant them to be lifted and separated, He would have put one on each shoulder.
I wouldn't kidnap a man for sex - I'm not saying I couldn't use someone to oil the mower.
In my day we didn't have sex education, we just picked up what we could off the television.
My massage was marvellous. I feel really relaxed. And my masseur, Harold :You can't have a masseur called Harold. It's like having a member of the Royal Family called Ena.
On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?
Music is an element that should be part and parcel of every child's life via the education system.
I haven't got a waist. I've just got a sort of place, a bit like an unmarked level crossing.
A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.