Tim Dorsey
Tim Dorsey
Tim Dorseyis an American novelist, frequently compared to Dave Barry and Carl Hiaasen. Dorsey's books are crime capers in the Florida style pioneered by John D. MacDonald...
ammo building-confidence
Nothing builds confidence like live ammo.
people murder cop
Murder is such a charged word. You know how some people fixate and won't let things go? They're called cops.
july laughing noon
But instead they tell you they'll come to fix your cable between noon and five, and I say, okay, I'll pay my next bill between July and November, but they don't laugh.
book writing two
The whole family is a bunch of dangerous freaks...Most are ex-cons or junkies or deranged from inbreeding. Five have died violently, three are back in prison, two have gone insane from untreated venereal disease, and one writes book reviews.
growing-up kids gas-stations
Look forward to the wonderment of growing up, raising a family and driving by the gas station where the popular kids now work.
father jerk break
Almighty Father, please stop making jerks. Amen...Break!
stupid book cutting
...And another item from the growing file of people who voluntarily wear dunce caps... You'll be talking cordially to someone and make an offhand reference, 'I recently read where--' and they'll cut you off and say, 'Oh, I don't read'... This is a tragedy on so many different levels. First, because they don't read, they don't know enough to keep it to themselves. Next, and this is the most amazing part, they use a demeaning tone like I'm the stupid one for wasting time with books.
beach florida legs
A prosthetic leg with a Willie Nelson bumper sticker washed ashore on the beach, which meant it was Florida. Then it got weird.
florida people drug
Back at the Rash [a Florida nightclub], a waif in a lime latex body tube went into the rest room to snort the newest designer drug, XGB5, which gave people the uncanny sensation of throwing money away while chewing their own lips off. It was hard to come by and everyone had to have it.
knives making-love culture
My problem is with the warped value system our culture has. Why is it that if you knife a woman in a movie it's PG, but if you swear at her it's rated R and if you make love to her it's rated X?
socialism ifs
It's only socialism if the money goes down, not up.
math two storm
A strip club is one of the few places where two groups voluntarily come together who have such precipitous contrasts in net worth and familiarity with violence, each group with a head-and-shoulders edge in one category. The basic math of a tropical storm.
beer thinking phones
Nature's what it's all about, but our people have been brainwashed into thinking that life is a cell phone against your head and the TV on a beer commercial with hot chicks.
dream life-is second-best
Hang on to your dreams with everything you got. Because the best life is when your dreams come true. The second-best is when they don't but you never stop chasing them.