Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
stupid self waiting
If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!
jobs stupid fighting
Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?
people stupidity may
Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.
spin
We don't want any filter, ... The correspondent is only going to put his spin on it.
children demon shows
These shows are the demon children of the 24-hour cable-news cycle,
opinions saying
The show is about me in that when you give opinions, you're saying something about yourself,
player work
Every day, if I could find someone to play with me. If I couldn't find someone to play with me, I would work on my player character.
based character daily guy
My character is not based on (Bill) O'Reilly, ... It's the same guy from The Daily Show. You'd never say it's O'Reilly.
I think O'Reilly could be so evolved, he's one of the X-Men
fact trust
I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.
bestow bush hands honor karl problem
Bush has a real problem on his hands here, John: What honor should he bestow on Karl Rove?
america apple apples candy crack crowd good last second talk talking wake
Lemme just talk to you for a second about something that I think is good for America: caramel apples, ... I had one last night. Delicious. Not talking about candy apples. I think candy apples are a danger! You crack 'em, they're very sharp. You candy apple crowd need to wake up!
dramatic emotion emotions funny pumped
When emotion or glitz is pumped into something that doesn't need it, it's just funny to me, ... Oh, it's not dramatic enough?
dragons dungeons introduced market playing week
It was, actually. I started playing Dungeons & Dragons the first week it was introduced to the market - at least the first week it was introduced down here.