Scott Adams
Scott Adams
Scott Raymond Adamsis an American cartoonist, creator of the Dilbert comic strip and the author of several nonfiction works of satire, commentary, business, and general speculation...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionCartoonist
Date of Birth8 June 1957
CityWindham, NY
CountryUnited States of America
assumption realistic funding
Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.
powerful simple cells
Simple molecules combine to make powerful chemicals. Simple cells combine to make powerful life-forms. Simple electronics combine to make powerful computers. Logically, all things are created by a combination of simpler, less capable components. Therefore, a supreme being must be in our future, not our origin. What if "God" is the consciousness that will be created when enough of us are connected by the Internet?!!
technology surfing serious
And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.
technology doctors paws
As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.
writing things-in-life people
Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.
baby drinking beer
He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.
death suicide disappear
You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change.
science ideas rooms
Science is a good thing. News reporters are good things too. But it's never a good idea to put them in the same room.
jobs work hard
If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
business clothes important
Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.
knowing age aging
The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.
disappointment humorous goal
Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.
death suicide thinking
I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral.
death suicide skills
A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.