Ronnie Shakes
Ronnie Shakes
Ronnie Shakeswas a stand up comedian who made seven appearances on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson from 1984 to 1987. Shakes died at age 40 of a heart attack while jogging...
positive thinking copies
I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking", and then I thought: What good would that do?
aging
I like life. It's something to do.
god one-day knows
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.
persons
Where there's a will there's a dead person.
baby ugly causes
I was an ugly baby. On my birth certificate there was a listing for Probable Cause.
teenager school yearbook
As a teenager I just wanted to fit in, just to be one of the boys. It was tough. I went to an all black school. I went so far as to have them print my negative in the yearbook. I think it was the black teeth that gave me away.
sex differences males
One question on hospital admittance forms really gets me. "Sex: Male or Female?" Do I want to be in a hospital where they can't tell the difference?
thinking you-only-live-once lasts
I spend money with reckless abandon. Last month I blew $5000 at a reincarnation. I got to thinking, what the hell, you only live once!
relationship revenge giving
Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.
funny-relationship people mind
A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this question: 'Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?'
sex doe dollars
Sometimes the unexpected does happen. Once, this exquisite woman fell for me. After we made love, she gave me a check for a hundred dollars. I said, "Honey, I don't get paid for sex." She said, "This is hush money."
lying guy lasts
I always wanted to be the last guy on Earth, just to see if all those women were lying to me.
eye years tears
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'
health august two
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.