Paul Merton
Paul Merton
Paul James Martin, known professionally as Paul Mertonis an English writer, actor, comedian, radio and television presenter...
NationalityBritish
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth9 July 1957
people made longevity
I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity were the ones who'd spent quite a bit of time learning about what they were doing before they made it.
people beautiful-day listening
The thing about improvisation is that it's not about what you say. It's listening to what other people say. It's about what you hear.
facts watches comedy
In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.
jobs blow yelling
My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you're giving blow jobs to transsexuals?'
laughing people connections
It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a way, when you're young and shy, making people laugh is a good way to make friends. It's an instant connection.
lonely real loneliness
It was a bizarre existence I led in my early twenties - that cliche of the comedian who goes out and entertains a roomful of people and then goes home to a lonely bedsit was unbelievably poignant for me because that was exactly what I was doing. I had periods of real loneliness.
fashion victim
I don't consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me.
dvds order trying
I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties.
couple men comedian
In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism.
house done paper
If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.
school past years
My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.
funny humorous air
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
new-york central-park guy
On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here?
monday morning thinking
When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.