Norm MacDonald
Norm MacDonald
Norman Gene "Norm" Macdonald is a Canadian stand-up comedian, writer, producer and actor. He is best known for his five seasons as a cast member on Saturday Night Live, which included anchoring Weekend Update for three years. Early in his career, he wrote for the sitcom Roseanne and made appearances on shows including The Drew Carey Show and NewsRadio. He starred in The Norm Show from 1999 to 2001. Comedy Central named him #83 on the five-part miniseries 100 Greatest...
NationalityCanadian
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 October 1963
CityQuebec City, Canada
CountryCanada
It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.
Women of no beauty may yet be flattered to believe they possess some; others of a moderate share that they have a great deal; but those of elegance and charm generally know the perfection of their external graces so well, that they seem to covet that flattery most which heightens the opinion of their wit and judgment.
Most men appear wiser in their doubts than in their belief.
Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket... what's the guy even thinking there. Here you go... nothing! Merry Christmas! It's nothing!
This is a thing I read by a scientist... it said scientists now say that a man thinks about sex once every 7.3 seconds. Now, I know what I think every 7.3 seconds. It's just a bunch of meaningless gibberish.
You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin' life again? Man, that's rough, eh?
I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't; it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.
The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us.
The character of giving advice often makes us accountable for the conduct of those we advise.
A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
I'm not original, but I strive toward it as much as possible. I tried really hard on Weekend Update to do something that I considered original, which was, I tried to cut all cleverness out of the joke.
All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.
It is better to be idle than employed in ill.